Worth It

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. Dr. Seuss


Chapter 7: THE TIES THAT BIND

“Lonne, don’t you think this is a little premature?” Noa cautioned, feeling worry and concern for Lonne’s safety, and questioning the wisdom of the romance roulette wheel her friend was constantly spinning.

“No, besides, what difference does it make whether it’s the desert, or next door? Every date has the chance of being divine or a disaster. Believe me, distance is not the determining factor.”

Lonne’s search for love knew no boundaries. Her quest was no longer confined to Los Angeles.

“We’ve talked several times on the phone, and he seems sincere. And, let’s face it, I’d rather drive for a couple of hours and see him on his own turf, than just meet somewhere halfway. If he can’t back up what he’s told me, then I’ll enjoy the desert heat and head back to LA. Besides, I can use a little getaway.” Lonne appreciated Noa’s concern, but pressed ahead with her plan.

Love, like water, will pursue its own path, and Lonne enjoyed being a plaything in the hands of destiny.

“He can’t be any worse than the midget I met on Match!”

Lonne was able to find humor in the mismatches of online dating services, but continued to enjoy the possibilities they offered. She swore it was one of the best ways for women “of a certain age” to meet available men. It was risky, but Lonne was willing to take the risk in order to reap the potential reward of love. In the meantime, she settled for new scenery, new restaurants and naughty sex.

Fast approaching fifty, Lonne swore she had never been married to a man she loved, or loved by a man she married. Her marriages were matters of pressure, possession and power. Even in Sweden, during the seventies it was difficult being an unwed mother. So Lonne married, gave birth, sank into a dark depression, and planned her escape.

After a bitter divorce battle, and the realization she would have to leave her daughter behind for the time being, Lonne left. It was that, or become another Swedish suicide statistic. Sometimes you have to save your own life first.

With her first marriage behind her, Lonne left homeland and family behind and headed for Los Angeles. She was scared, but experience had already taught her everything worthwhile in life is risky and sometimes you just have to drop your pants and slide on the ice. She wanted more. More of everything, and America dangled unlimited possibilities just across the sea. The lure of warm days and hot nights crystallized her decision. Hello LA! She was here to play.

Her second marriage came soon after arriving. Blond, beautiful and young enough to still be filled with hope, Lonne embarked on a whirlwind romance and married a wealthy older man two days after his divorce was final, and six weeks after they met. His financial position allowed Lonne to bring her daughter to LA every summer and during the holiday winter break. She enjoyed a palatial home on New York Hill in Palos Verdes Estates, cemented her financial security with the birth of another baby girl, took up golf and shopping to fill her days, fantasized about other men, and uttered an occasional oh and ah while enduring her husband’s attempts at intimacy during those years filled with orgasmless nights.

She had everything, except the love she traveled thousands of miles to find. Her husband was a decent man, but not a good match for the depth of lusty desires Lonne harbored in her heart. She did not stray because she found pleasure in being unfaithful; instead she was unfulfilled and driven by her very nature to fill that vacuum.

“Well, at least give me a little information about him, and call me when you get back.” Noa wrote down the information, and reminded Lonne to be careful. “Take care, and I’ll talk to you when you return.” Noa placed the phone back on the cradle. She tucked the piece of paper inside the desk drawer and hoped she would never have to use the information listed on it. Acts, not words, form the ties that bind.

Noa, unlike Lonne, was not a multiple serial dater. Her style was more sequential, never dually engaged. One man, and long term was the only acceptable mating style for her. She did not need to be married, but she did need to be mated, or at least engaged in the dance.